Friday , 16 November 2018
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Cannon Fodder: Homesickness much?

Hey ho all!!

The seasons is almost at an end and the our stain-less steel medal (I assume that’s what they give the kids who finish behind the top-3?) is firmly in our grasp and yet another year of rubbing shoulders with Europe’s elite is certain (I laugh in the face of qualifier round?!)

There’s Wembley to look forward to of course and a crazy Sunday of booze-fueled revelry that will follow our victory. But I’m unable to shake off the prospect of another Arsenal-free summer. It seems to get harder every year. That little spectacle in Brazil should help keep our minds off thing though if it comes to pass.

But as the season draws to a close, the bane of transfer rumors rises from the ugly maw of sports media and descends upon us all like an swarm of plunging the footballing world into chaos as the fan boys beat off to potential transfer targets until they realize that the box of tissues on the night-stand has finally run out. The more worldly watch on in bemusement, occasionally dipping their toes in the cesspool as an occasional cure to boredom.

Unfortunately the close of this season has already spawned much talk about a certain Spaniard returning to the sacred Grove. Frankly, I know how little credibility these rumors have and I am aware that this could simply be Cesc’s agent trying to bring a few bucks for a bored and dis-satisfied client. But yet, all the out pouring of love and the almost constant litany of We-w**k-to-your-beautiful-mug-Cesc-please-come-back!!! posts, videos and pod-casts really puts my nose out of joint.

Not to be out-done, Vela too has decided that Sociedad is now too small a pond for a largish trout like himself. This renewed the ceaseless posts that now featured gooners salivating at the prospect of two ex-gunners possibly returning to English shores.

I tried my best to ignore the, no I really did, but I guess I must have my cents out before my noggin explodes from sheer annoyance:

Vela was not happy with life in Arsenal & England and made that plainly clear on multiple occasions. Sorry, but that constant whining really didn’t endear him to me. Put your head down and work hard like every other human on this planet, you don’t deserve an easy path just because a bunch of reporters hold a mic to your damn face. Arsenal dont need that sort of spirit in the dressing room.

Moreover, he was a mediocre striker at best. Probably an improvement on our current striking options, but still not worth the gamble.

And Cesc? Where should I start?

Perhaps with the emotional manipulation that 90% of the fans fell head over heels for?

Cesc was an phenomenal player and one of the most prolific midfielders I have watched, but his greatest skill was not in his boots; it was is his  skill with ‘Public Relations’.
He clearly never valued Arsenal as much as claimed he did but managed to convince every single Gooner world over that he did. If he was “unhappy” or home-sick, he shouldn’t have signed a 100 year contract with his bloody ‘foster home’ (or ‘spring-board’ whatever he calls us to himself) No one put a gun to his, head. He chose to do it for the money, fame & adoration (note the order) that he believed he wouldn’t attain at FCB. As his confidence as a player slowly grew, so did his assurance that he could succeed at Catalunya. That combined with some skillful PR work by the shrewd chaps who run FCB, a transfer was ‘precipitated’ from an unwilling Arsenal who were robbed after Barcelona agreed to part with a measly 35 million for a player whom they already considered “their own”.

Who wants to stay at stinky little Arsenal with their silly little stadium and funny old coach [who just happened to make your career,] when you can go to Barce-fucking-lona, the very birth place of tiki-taka itself?

If he wanted to leave so badly, he could do so after his time with Arsenal, like a gentleman who simply saw a different path for himself and felt no qualms about expressing himself honestly or maintaining a dignified silence { Hat doff to Bacman… you will be missed dearly, sir}.

But NOOOOOOOOOOO…..Cesc whined, moaned and bitched until he got his way, all the while talking about how much he loved Arsenal (while the fools sucked it all up quicker than an obento in a class room) but how he needed to go home to play with his childhood friends who saved his baby rabbit from getting eaten at La Masia.

Now fast forward a few years.

After yet another season of not being able to fully displace a 34-year old Xavi or his 29-year old partner in crime accompanied by the constant love that the Catalans shower him with. Cesc finds out that home isn’t all that he had thought it would be and now suddenly a slowly re-surging Arsenal now looks like a fine “option”.

But cesc…
What about the bunny?
Won’t you miss Pique’s little make-over sessions if you go to London?
What if Iniesta has a pool party and you’re not able to make it all the way from London? Would you be home sick again???????

That emotional manipulation and trickery that colored his exit from Arsenal really irked me and shook my faith in him. I don’t want to see him in Arsenal colours. Go ahead and have a great career Cesc, just not at the club that I consider almost sacred. I really don’t want it desecrated treated like a stop gap solution until someone with more attractive else prospects comes knocking again.

This is simply my opinion and I think I’m entitled to it. Screaming about your man-love for some one I consider ‘manipulative scum’ will change nothing… but you are welcome to try and convince me.

My apologies on what some would call a ‘hate-post’, I’m not usually not one to stoop so low, but there’s something about that Spaniard that just ticks me off even with no effort on his part. I guess, somethings just rankle.

About Varun Chand

Full time nothing doer and part-time Engineer (supposedly). I really hate the Arsenal and that's why I spend so much of time writing/talking/discussing/debating about them. I enjoy mocking YOU because it's fun.

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