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Cannon Fodder: Teutonic Terror!

A strange darkness gathers on the Western horizon….Light crackles and a storm is brewing, the night zephyr carries the haunting screams of a thousand victims as a foul smell emanates from the West frontier.
Tales of horror abound. Survivors who witnessed the carnage never want to speak of the Visigoths and their horrible hordes.

Fear coagulates myth and reality as each story and blurs the line between the real and the uncanny…

The survivors whisper of a terrible Polish creature, more beast than man: his eyes darker than the pits of hell, his fingers, razor sharp claws gouging the hearts from the chests of from unwary defenders, his legs thick as tree trunks with feet swifter than the average mortal can hope to follow. Tales of his prowess claim that he once fell 5 men in a single stroke within 8 blood splattered minutes…..
Birthed in the swamps of the Vistula valley of Warsaw, the monster terrorized all of Europe from the Westfalenstadion castle before turning on his king in a cruel twist of fate and avarice. The monster then joined the Visigoths of Munich and waged a brutal war against his old citadel. Legends say that the creature eviscerated his old master, tore his yellow crown off his head and stomped his reputation into the ground while slaughtering his army and leaving behind the city of bloody ruin and ghastly devastation. Lore says that his master of the yellow citadel has since fled to seek refuge in English shores in a famous but crumbling red castle…

The Visigoths of Munich come to fie on your souls!!!!!

The Visigoths of Munich come to fie on your souls!!!!!

The Visigoths now march upon our fair lands; the horns baying in the darkness herald their arrival with a smug Catalan commander at the fore. The bald prince is said to be a ‘genius’ by many a bard.
But I opine; a canny general is the one who wins the least coin not by procuring the most powerful mercenaries in Europe gold can buy. The claim falls hollow on the ears of the footballing faithful and the powers that be…

Can the old French king rally his troops and fend off the zounds of goths who will descend upon the castle of red and white?
Will the exhausted South American ninja-knight once upon deliver victory? Will the Teutonic archer slice through the defensive lines to put the English pikeman of quick feet and slow mind?
Will the Welsh warrior blast through the Visigoths with one of his devastating runs?
And can the French Dervish and his Teutonic Battle Axe keep the hordes at bay?

As the old king sits in his throne room plotting the destruction of the all-conquering Visigoths the sands of time drip into the hourglass as the footsteps of the invaders grow louder…

Find out on Tuesday, October 20 at 12:15 PM IST as Arsenal taken on Bayern Munich in the Champions League Group stage at the Ashburton Grove, London

About Varun Chand

Full time nothing doer and part-time Engineer (supposedly). I really hate the Arsenal and that's why I spend so much of time writing/talking/discussing/debating about them. I enjoy mocking YOU because it's fun.

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